So after what felt like an eternal pregnancy, Flynn Allyn Edi-Mae arrived on March 20, 2013 at a hefty 8 pounds 10 oz and 23 inches long! Unfortunately due to hubby's work schedule, he missed her birth and was unable to get home until she was 12 hours old.
Given the fact that I was terrified to give birth again, I'm pretty sure that my body was mentally preparing for what turned out to be the most traumatic delivery yet. I think that every woman has their own version of horror birth stories, and by no means do I think mine was worse than anybody else's, but it for me, it was the worst of the three. Not only was she bigger than the other two, but she was insanely fast. Now to some this is wonderful....until you do it. There is no wind up to the pain with a fast arrival. There is no chance to even get your bearing's and mentally prepare yourself. It is painful and terrifying. Especially with the third, because I knew damn well what was happening and how fast she was coming.
However, if I could have ordered the perfect delivery (minus the absence of hubby), I was given it on a silver platter. I was so exhausted near the end, that my biggest fear was an evening delivery. I was positive I wouldn't have it in me to do it....I was probably right. This time was different, in that my water didn't break. For the first time, I started contracting. I had woken up fairly early and thought to myself....hmm, this is bizarre. I felt like something was off. So I laid in bed, searching Pinterest.....
My midwife appt was the day before, on Tuesday March 19. I was 38 weeks on the button. We decided that I would book a flight for hubby to come home on Saturday, and we would try to induce labor to ensure that he would be there for her arrival. Baby had other plans. I had a temper tantrum and demanded that he come home. I booked the flight.
My mom arrived on Tuesday afternoon and my instinct was correct that I would deliver the next day. March 20 had been in my head from the beginning. I had, on more than one occasion, demanded that my hubby fly home on March 20. He clearly didn't listen....
After searching Pinterest for an hour, I had made a list in my head of all the items I was going to pick up that day, just to see if I could get things going.
Raspberry Leaf Tea
Primrose Oil...
I got earlier than I normally would on a day off. But it was Spring Break and I had lots I wanted to get done. So I ate a banana and turned on the news. At 7:03 I felt was I was sure was a contraction. But because I had been having so many braxton hicks, I logged it in my brain. At 7:06 I felt a second. Hmmm, I thought. That was weird. At 7:09 I felt my entire stomach contract rock hard. I turned to my mom and said "So I'm having contractions". Then the panic set in, I quickly went to the bathroom and became quite aware, that this was really happening. My water was slowly leaking. Ah crap.....
So I made all the important phone calls.
I think my husband was in shock. Are you sure?...it's really baby time! Panic set in with trying to get him home. Flight? Drive? He jumped in his car and started out on the long 12 hour journey home. That sucked....
I called my midwife, photographer and girlfriend Elisa. She made it to my house in record time! I would have been more impressed at the time, had I not been in unbearable pain. By 7:30, I couldn't walk through the contractions, which were now coming every 2-3 minutes and increasing in strength. Fyi....that also sucked.
I arrived at the hospital and was checked by 8:45ish. I was 4 cm.
By this time around, I was well aware of how my body works during labor. I'll be honest, it doesn't change how terrifying it is to push a person out of your body. The contractions with her were as bad as they were with my first, but this time they were intense from the beginning. I knew she wasn't moving down the birth canal. She had never even dropped as she was 13 days early.
By the grace of God, everyone who was suppose to be there, was able to make it. I was blessed with the most amazing group of women who supported me through the entire process, and reassured me, although I was coming unhinged from the pain. That's the FUN of a fast delivery. NO time for pain meds of any kind. Thumbs up....
Although I would have loved nothing more than my husband by my side to be there to meet our daughter together, I'll be honest in saying that I am NOT sad he didn't see that situation. Hubby doesn't do well during our babes deliveries, and this one was the most traumatizing of all three. I truly didn't believe that women really "needed" to scream during child birth. After all, both my children were delivered rather calmly. I was able to talk, communicate and be in control during both of there births. I LOST MY MIND during this one. I'm so sorry I judged. Scream away ladies....scream away! Not only was I in the worst pain of my entire life, I was too aware of what was happening, or more importantly, what wasn't. Gone was the naivety of the first baby. Nope....#3 was terrifying, and fast, and was a curve ball. I heard the midwives talking about the need for a pediatrician, I knew something was up. I also heard that there was no time, and to grab the nurses. Baby was born with meconium in my water. I found out later that there was fear they may need to resuscitate. I knew things were off when they cut her cord immediately and took her away. I just kept saying, "Don't tell me what it is!"
I grabbed my phone instantly and called my husband.
I started asking repeatedly what we had. No one was answering. Then Elisa turned to me, with tears in her eyes and a huge smile. I just said..."it's my girl isn't it?" We found out together, on the phone that our baby girl had finally arrived. Those moments are the best in life. Gratefully, our precious girl was healthy and hearty. She was surrounded by so much love when she was born, that I could never have wished for anything else. Elisa was amazing and so supportive. It's not everyday your friends get the joy of seeing your ladies parts all all display;)
I am so grateful for my blessings. Never in my life, when I started this journey, did I EVER expect to be announcing my baby girl to the world. I had already been given the children of my dreams, so to be gifted another, was beyond my thinking. She has arrived in our family like she has always been here. She turned 10 weeks yesterday, and I am brought to tears by how gracious and amazing my two older ones are with her. It is a beautiful thing to watch the children you have created, fall madly in love with a person they just met. She has brought us all together as a family and forced us to put our life into perspective. I feel like we are complete. Considering how rough hubby and I started out, and the rough roads we have walked, sometimes together, sometimes apart, I look at my family and understand why you have to work on marriage. It is not something you throw away, it is something you fix and have to continue to maintain to make it last for the long haul. When all is said and done, life is about the people you fill it with. Friends, family and children. That's what makes the journey worth how hard you have to work. Nothing good has ever come from easy;)
By the grace of God, everyone who was suppose to be there, was able to make it. I was blessed with the most amazing group of women who supported me through the entire process, and reassured me, although I was coming unhinged from the pain. That's the FUN of a fast delivery. NO time for pain meds of any kind. Thumbs up....
Although I would have loved nothing more than my husband by my side to be there to meet our daughter together, I'll be honest in saying that I am NOT sad he didn't see that situation. Hubby doesn't do well during our babes deliveries, and this one was the most traumatizing of all three. I truly didn't believe that women really "needed" to scream during child birth. After all, both my children were delivered rather calmly. I was able to talk, communicate and be in control during both of there births. I LOST MY MIND during this one. I'm so sorry I judged. Scream away ladies....scream away! Not only was I in the worst pain of my entire life, I was too aware of what was happening, or more importantly, what wasn't. Gone was the naivety of the first baby. Nope....#3 was terrifying, and fast, and was a curve ball. I heard the midwives talking about the need for a pediatrician, I knew something was up. I also heard that there was no time, and to grab the nurses. Baby was born with meconium in my water. I found out later that there was fear they may need to resuscitate. I knew things were off when they cut her cord immediately and took her away. I just kept saying, "Don't tell me what it is!"
I grabbed my phone instantly and called my husband.I started asking repeatedly what we had. No one was answering. Then Elisa turned to me, with tears in her eyes and a huge smile. I just said..."it's my girl isn't it?" We found out together, on the phone that our baby girl had finally arrived. Those moments are the best in life. Gratefully, our precious girl was healthy and hearty. She was surrounded by so much love when she was born, that I could never have wished for anything else. Elisa was amazing and so supportive. It's not everyday your friends get the joy of seeing your ladies parts all all display;)
I am so grateful for my blessings. Never in my life, when I started this journey, did I EVER expect to be announcing my baby girl to the world. I had already been given the children of my dreams, so to be gifted another, was beyond my thinking. She has arrived in our family like she has always been here. She turned 10 weeks yesterday, and I am brought to tears by how gracious and amazing my two older ones are with her. It is a beautiful thing to watch the children you have created, fall madly in love with a person they just met. She has brought us all together as a family and forced us to put our life into perspective. I feel like we are complete. Considering how rough hubby and I started out, and the rough roads we have walked, sometimes together, sometimes apart, I look at my family and understand why you have to work on marriage. It is not something you throw away, it is something you fix and have to continue to maintain to make it last for the long haul. When all is said and done, life is about the people you fill it with. Friends, family and children. That's what makes the journey worth how hard you have to work. Nothing good has ever come from easy;)
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