The first few months with her took such a toll on me. I wish I could go back and tell the exhausted me, that it was all going to be ok, and worth it. I think it's hard to imagine, when you are going through hard times in your life, to believe that it is going to all work out. This too shall pass. You will survive. It's all true. I am sad that I didn't get to revel in the newborn glory, and feel robbed. I'm heartbroken that it has gone WAY TOO FAST. I wasn't prepared for the months to fly by, in a rapid blink of an eye, to be staring down her first birthday already seems unimaginable. I will admit that if I was in a different situation...I would totally do it all again (eeeek...I said it) She is like baby crack! I've said it before, but the baby stages are my favorite moments of my entire life. Yes, I am sleep deprived, time crunched, and a walking disaster....and I would pause these moments in a heart beat. Stop time. Squeeze out every single last drop of baby-hood before it slips away into the abyss. I am so grateful for the gifts I have been given. Blessed doesn't seem like enough words.
One year. 365 days. I have no idea where on earth it went. How it slipped away? What exactly did I do with it? Did I write down enough? Take enough photos? Stop and play enough? Sing enough? Snuggle enough? Because now it's gone, and we are moving on to the next phase of life with a toddler. I'm so thankful that my big two are so well behaved and eager to help me wrangler her. She is a full time job. She is a wild animal. She hollers at the top of her lungs. She stomps her little feet. She pushes her sister off of chairs, and out of her way. She tries to play in the toilet. She opens, climbs in, and turns on the dishwasher. Relentlessly. She climb into the fridge before you can stop her. She runs. She has no fear. She is A LOT of work. She is pure joy and love. She has my heart wrapped around her noisy little finger.
The last year has taught me so many lessons. I began drinking coffee at 34. It has solely been responsible for helping me to survive. I learned that one mommy to 3 children is REALLY not enough mommy. One mommy, an 8 year old and a five year old is barely enough to wrangle "Shouty McGavin".
Small hands have a long reaching ability. Whether it's the fridge, big sisters "forbidden" drawers, desk, remotes or counter, those little hands can reach more than you ever anticipated.
Anything electronic is fun. If she can get her hands on remotes, phones, the computer mouse or anything from the wii.....she runs away with her tiny hands clasped around it with the speed of a cheetah.
You'd like to go to the bathroom? Not without someone banging on the door and shouting at the top of her lungs. If you're brave enough to let her in, be prepared to have go-go gadget arms to prevent the digging in the trash, smashing the scale, unrolling the toilet paper, pulling down the shower curtain, eating the soap or stealing the shampoo bottles. It happens in 30 seconds.
Stairs are not scary? I can't decide if she is lacking depth perception or fear. She has not only scaled our entire flight of stairs in seconds, before I saw her, but she will walk right off of them with out fear. That's hardly terrifying as a mother. Baby gate was installed immediately.
You'd like to sleep? No thank you. None for me. Some nights are amazing with only one or two wake ups. We mostly are up an average of 3-5 however.....still. Hence the coffee.
The best way to signal that you are finished eating is to use your entire arm to clear the piles of remaining food onto the floor. Do not use the sign "all done", although you are very capable of using it. Best to just make a mess.
If all else fails, and you are still not getting your way, shout at the top of your lungs, and stomp your feet. It won't work, but it makes everyone laugh around you. Causing you to then laugh, making everything better.
Today I am so thankful for a healthy baby girl. She keeps me on my toes, and makes me smile countless times a day. She is so loved by us that there is not enough words to explain the depth of my joy. So now we look forward to the next phase of life, that will bring me a toddler and say goodbye to my baby. My heart is sad, full, happy, and aches all at the same time. I think I will always have "the ache". I'm that kind of woman. I think there will never be a day that I don't honestly say "I could do that again". I am grateful for what I have been given. I am just a mommy. I don't love my children any less than any other mommy out there. I am no different. I just think as I watch my last baby grow right before my eyes, I pause with reflection. I look back at the last 8 years of mother hood. Some days I miss me. Some days are really hard. Some days I watch the clock and count the hours down to bedtime. But often I ache, as I watch my beautiful children grow right before my eyes into beautiful people. Today as I celebrate my baby girls first birthday, I will reflect on the year past. I will make promises for the future. I will probably cry. Today I will hold her tight and be grateful. Don't ever forget to do the same.
The last year has taught me so many lessons. I began drinking coffee at 34. It has solely been responsible for helping me to survive. I learned that one mommy to 3 children is REALLY not enough mommy. One mommy, an 8 year old and a five year old is barely enough to wrangle "Shouty McGavin".
Small hands have a long reaching ability. Whether it's the fridge, big sisters "forbidden" drawers, desk, remotes or counter, those little hands can reach more than you ever anticipated.
Anything electronic is fun. If she can get her hands on remotes, phones, the computer mouse or anything from the wii.....she runs away with her tiny hands clasped around it with the speed of a cheetah.
You'd like to go to the bathroom? Not without someone banging on the door and shouting at the top of her lungs. If you're brave enough to let her in, be prepared to have go-go gadget arms to prevent the digging in the trash, smashing the scale, unrolling the toilet paper, pulling down the shower curtain, eating the soap or stealing the shampoo bottles. It happens in 30 seconds.
Stairs are not scary? I can't decide if she is lacking depth perception or fear. She has not only scaled our entire flight of stairs in seconds, before I saw her, but she will walk right off of them with out fear. That's hardly terrifying as a mother. Baby gate was installed immediately.
You'd like to sleep? No thank you. None for me. Some nights are amazing with only one or two wake ups. We mostly are up an average of 3-5 however.....still. Hence the coffee.
The best way to signal that you are finished eating is to use your entire arm to clear the piles of remaining food onto the floor. Do not use the sign "all done", although you are very capable of using it. Best to just make a mess.
If all else fails, and you are still not getting your way, shout at the top of your lungs, and stomp your feet. It won't work, but it makes everyone laugh around you. Causing you to then laugh, making everything better.
Today I am so thankful for a healthy baby girl. She keeps me on my toes, and makes me smile countless times a day. She is so loved by us that there is not enough words to explain the depth of my joy. So now we look forward to the next phase of life, that will bring me a toddler and say goodbye to my baby. My heart is sad, full, happy, and aches all at the same time. I think I will always have "the ache". I'm that kind of woman. I think there will never be a day that I don't honestly say "I could do that again". I am grateful for what I have been given. I am just a mommy. I don't love my children any less than any other mommy out there. I am no different. I just think as I watch my last baby grow right before my eyes, I pause with reflection. I look back at the last 8 years of mother hood. Some days I miss me. Some days are really hard. Some days I watch the clock and count the hours down to bedtime. But often I ache, as I watch my beautiful children grow right before my eyes into beautiful people. Today as I celebrate my baby girls first birthday, I will reflect on the year past. I will make promises for the future. I will probably cry. Today I will hold her tight and be grateful. Don't ever forget to do the same.
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