Today we decided to take advantage of my husbands days off, and take the kids tubing on a local ski hill. Because of my hubby's crazy work hours, and the ages of our children, we rarely have the opportunity to do things like this, so today was a really big adventure for us. Both kids were really excited, and I was anxious to see some snow! Having grown up with snow, moving to the coast and having winters full of rain, can grow exhausting. Frankly, some days I'd rather shovel it, than see the gloomy, wet, depressing sky....day, after day, after day, for months on end sometimes. Even my 3 year old complains about not seeing the sunshine. I have been on the coast for nearly 10 years now, and I must admit, that I have become a "west coaster". My winter jacket has been packed away for years, and I can usually get away with my hoodie while taking my kids to school. My mittens are warm enough to handle the cold steering wheel in the morning, but certainly aren't meant for any winter activity. I wear my Ugg boots everyday, and no longer own a pair of real snow boots. I traded in my winter gear for rain gear and at the time was happy to pack it all away, only to bring out for special occasions, such as this one.
So, as we began to drag out the "winter gear", it began to occur to me. Holy crap....I was about 60 pounds lighter when I wore this last time. With bated breath, I put on the snow pants. "Shit". To say they don't fit, is an understatement. I could probably use them as hand puppets. They stop abruptly at my ass. So, that's awesome. It's now 7:45pm on Boxing day.
I take my son's snow pants out, only to read that they say size 4...and he's a 6. I dig around in the closet for my daughters....only to realize that I have sent them back to my best friend in the last clothing swap we did. "Shit" again.
Off to Superstore I go. I get there just as the doors are being locked. "Shit...shit...shit"! Off to Wal-mart, on Boxing day, at 8pm I go. I am in sweat pants, melted off makeup, a baseball hat, and my hair is about 3 days dirty. Do I seriously want to be doing this right now? "Shit"....I mutter, yet again.
Miraculously, Wal-mart is not busy. Raped and pillaged, yes, but relatively quiet. Thankfully. I was quite surprised at the selection of snow pants. However, I suppose most of the Boxing day shoppers were probably looking for big ticket items. Since we live on the coast, I suppose that there was no need for a mad rush to buy snow pants. Unless you're me. I was thrilled to find one last 6X that I promptly threw in my cart. Off to find some for me. Now, there are some things in life that suck. Being forced to buy snow pants simply because you have gotten too fat for your last pair, is one of them. I recall when I bought those snow pants. I bought the entire outfit. Snow pants, winter jacket, boots, hat, scarf, and mittens. This was 10 years ago. That's right....10. Wow, I must admit, that's slightly depressing. Not only that I remember it so vividly, and remember how great it felt to look so "hot" in my snow gear. More so, that I STILL own it all, and couldn't cram my fat ass into it if I had to. That my friends....NOT so "hot".
So as I try on pants, after pants, after pants...all the while going up size, by size, by size, it occurred to me....."son of a bitch, I bet my jacket doesn't fit either". However, being tight on funds, since it was just after Christmas, I decided that I would attempt to "make it" fit. Besides, the cute jackets didn't come in fat sizes, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be fat AND wear an ugly ass jacket. That's were I draw the line.
So, as this morning rolled around, and I packed up my fat pants, my too small jacket (that's 10 years old), and may family...we were off. After we arrived, I promptly realized that I left my boots sitting on the stairs at home. Of course I did. Thankfully at the last minute, I threw on my trusty Uggs to make the journey. I suppose they'll have to do. In case you were wondering...they are NOT a good substitution. Especially when you drag your feet, as I do, and have rubbed off all the grip. I promptly ended up on my ass with in the first 10 minutes. Not surprising at all.
The entire ride up, my kids were almost jumping out of their skin at the sight of snow. Big R was thrilled at the prospect of tubing, and Miss C was squealing with excitement at the fluffy, white banks outside the van. "This is going to be awesome" I thought to myself.....
As we approached the hill, tubes in hand....already having fallen down at least twice, we make it to the top! Yay! Just as we do so, Miss C begins to cry. Shocking....she never cries....(she says dripping with sarcasm) "It's too scary"...."I want daddy"....I want to go home".
Of course you do. After all of 10 minutes, she was done before it even began. So as I wait for my hubby to make his way back up the hill, I listen to her loose her marbles. Thankfully my hubby has a way with her, and managed to "convince" her to give it a try, all the while she is screaming. He managed to get her to go down 5 times...maybe? Each time, she is sobbing with fear. However, soon as he would get to the bottom, she would ask to go again. Get to the top....hysterical tears. This behavior makes family outings a ton of fun. I believe we had been there for 45 minutes before the giant meltdown occurred. With my daughter, you can always be assured that there will be at least one of those. Thanks again Karma...ya bitch.
We spent the last half hour or so, playing in the snow banks. Miss C would play for a few minutes, and then remind herself that she was "cold, tired, hungry..." the list rotates and is long. However, as I listened to her loose her mind over "cold feet", I was reminded, yet again, about my own drama. There have been MANY an outing ruined by my own complaining, and I myself am willing to admit that cold feet will send me off the deep end. So as she finished playing, and I soaked up the minutes with out tears, and watched my son and hubby having a snow ball fight, I was reminded once again about the happiness journey that I am on. I take my little girl, tears and all, for who she is. I understand that she is high maintenance, but truthfully, she comes by it honestly. I am able to be a much more understanding mommy to her demands, because I myself have walked that road. Today, I was able to see my blessings through the tears, hysteria, snow pants fiasco...and come out the other side. I myself over came fear. I didn't want to admit to my son, that the hill made me want to cry. Frankly, I was terrified. But, I overcame it for his sake, and the moments flying down that hill, listening to him laugh, were worth every second. Miss C, like me, will need to take baby steps in life sometimes. But I am happy that today, I had the chance to take some. As I stood in the snow, and listened to my children laugh, and watched my hubby, I was truly happy. Cold feet, soaked mittens and all. I could have however, done with out the giant avalanche of snow that came cascading down on my head, at the exact moment I recognized my journey. Hubby thought it was hilarious....."couldn't have planned it better if I tried".....I think it was Karma...reminding me that even in moments of "happy" it's still there, waiting for the perfect moment to kick your ass.
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